Published April 12, 2008
This is what is currently happening to my friend. 
The pain in my friend is unearthly.
Her mom hates her and her dad is blind,
to all the good things she's accomplished.
Her misery could blow Satan's mind.
Her mother calls her names like slut and whore,
While her father just sits there and stares at the door.
Her younger sibling gets it all and all.
The glory and the riches that follow.
My best friend's courage is about to fall,
Her mind on the inside is hollow.
For there is no love in that house for her,
there is no one's shoulder to cry on.
She needs to unleash everything, that's for sure,
Quickly, before she's all gone.
Her soul is decaying from verbal neglect,
Her spirit has already broke,
The life she is living is crueler than heck,
But to others she will be soft-spoken.
Still, every day, she will break down and down,
Before long she'll wish she would drown,
Her mind and her spirit fade away,
The uncaring words will always stay.
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140,840 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
This was sad, dark and painful to read. It made my mood feel a little bit gloomy (but I am still a happy person) I wanted to ask you, is this a true storey?
I think you could have made this poem alot stronger if you made it from your friends point of view and you would use alot more adjectives.
*tear*
AH! So sad. But, I believe it would've been stronger if you told it from her point of view. Characterization is a big in something like this, in my opinion.
I loved that sentence. I dunno why, but I just do!
Nice ending... if you made it a little stronger. I think you should rearrange it a little so more emotion comes from it. Verbal abuse is probably the most painful of all... it sticks. Try adding that idea to this.
All in all, very nice. I hope your friend keeps her head up.
Thanks =]
hello love, this is a very good poem you got going I could feel the emotion behind it. Truth be told my friend is going through the exat same thing. Sad and depressing but be there for them. That's the best you can do. Other than that the poem was beautiful and I hope to see more from you in the future. ^_^
-Max
Shank you very much!
I liked this. Sad though...but well thought out. Keep up the good work!